This is a bridge in Paris. You hang locks on it with the name of you & your boyfriend/girlfriend/best-friend then throw the key into the river. So even though the friend/relationship may end, you can’t remove the lock. It stays there forever, as relevance to someone once a part of your life.
AnonymousDear person I had/have a crush on,
Hi. After thinking about all the guys I’ve liked in my life I have to ask something of myself: how do I know that what I’ve felt up until this point qualifies as anything from ‘hey, he’s cute’ to ‘I think I’m in love with him’.
I feel so stupid to admit that I’ve fallen in love with some of my crushes. Because in all honesty, I don’t know what love means. I’ve never been in a relationship and no one has ever told me they loved me outside friends and family. I don’t know—nay, I don’t understand how romantic love operates. To put it plainly, I am completely virginal in every which way you can imagine. I’m naïve and extremely vulnerable. Especially when it comes to my feelings.
But in all honesty, I think you’re more imaginary than you are real. I build people up in my heart and mind so easily that I am at constant disconnect with who people are in reality. Especially with people I like. I twist and turn any kind of interaction so that it can fit into my fantasy. If you were the person I’ve built you up to be in my very soul, I could easily say I’m falling in like with you; a deep, vulnerable like.
But with that I know that in reality, we would never be. Just plain and simple as that. And even though I feel like who you’ve chosen doesn’t deserve you because they are so unfaithful to who you are; I sincerely hope you’ll be happy. I hope I can see you happy, even without me. Because if they don’t deserve you, I know I don’t. But I want to see you again in a couple years, completely happy.
I feel foolish just thinking of writing this to you. I can only hope you know me well enough to understand what I’m trying to say. A part of me is wondering if I’m sending this out to you, just you, or everyone past, present, and future.
I don’t know if what we had was your way of giving me a chance, but either way, I’m sorry I “gave up” so easily. It’s not something as simple as a ‘we could have had it all’ kind of thing. But more of a ‘I’m just a way to get you closer to thing you think you want’ type of scenario.
I won’t forget what you did for me. And I don’t know if I would ever want you to see this.
May we meet again….
xoxo
I will write about the following, leave one in my ask box
Dear person I hate,
Dear person I like,
Dear ex boyfriend,
Dear ex girlfriend,
Dear ex bestfriend,
Dear bestfriend,
Dear *anyone*,
Dear Santa,
Dear mom,
Dear dad,
Dear future me,
Dear past me,
Dear person I’m jealous of,
Dear person I had a crush on,
Dear girlfriend,
Dear boyfriend,
…I’m feeling sad right now. Not like depressed sad, (not yet). I don’t know. I’m just feeling really lonely right now. I need a hug. I need to be held and just cry. I need to feel loved.
The Impala in Dean’s bed
-
He knows it’s wrong. Dean told him don’t do it but he feels like he should be next to him. He gets up from the couch and carefully goes to Dean’s bed. He lies next to his owner and looks at him with worried eyes.
Dean is not okay. Something is wrong with him but he doesn’t know what. He is worried that something serious happened. He wants to help for Dean but he can’t. Not until Dean tells him what’s wrong.
Suddenly Dean opens his eyes. He stares at a man and he needs some seconds to recognize who is the guy.
It’s his Impala, his friend, his car, who somehow turned into a human and now he lies next to him and stares at him with his glorious blue eyes.“Would you rather I slept outside?” the Impala asks, and Dean still cringes at thinking of this man, this person, as “the” anything. “I’m used to it, I wouldn’t mind.”
“No offense, but that would probably look a little suspicious,” Dean says, his throat dry.
Baby—and Dean wishes he could think of him as something other than that, but that’s his name—stretches out flat on his back, his long legs taking up space on the bed, inhumanly long and sleek and solid. “I don’t think I’ll get much sleep anyway. Too keyed up.” His eyes dart along the ceiling, the tacky decorations on the motel walls, and finally to Dean’s face. “It’s a lot to take in,” he says, and his growling voice doesn’t do anything to contain that edge of excitement.
“Um, it’s just a crappy room,” Dean points out, slipping his hands under his pillow and laying flat on his stomach. “Nothing special.”
A small smile overtakes Baby’s lips, and he stares at Dean like there’s a joke Dean’s not getting.
“What?” Dean grouses, tired.
“I’ve never been inside one before. So it’s special to me.” He clears his throat and turns on his side once more, regarding Dean with that unblinking gaze. “Yeah, definitely can’t sleep tonight. How about you?”
Dean looks at him, meets the bright eyes with his own, and tries to imagine closing them, just going to sleep and forgetting the warm familiarity close to him. There’s no way it’s going to happen. He manages a half-smile. “Guess not.”
“See, I know,” Baby says. “When you shift like that. It’s gonna be a bad night. Not much sleep.”
Dean’s going to protest, it feels weird to think that this guy— some definition of guy, at least— has watched him sleep, but it isn’t watching so much as feeling, is it? That is, when he shifted during those restless nights, he was shifting on his baby’s seats, moving inside him —
Holy shit. Dean squeezes his eyes shut, tries to reach down and adjust himself so Baby won’t see, but fuck those keen eyes are dipping downward and the impish smile is widening.
Dean bites his lip and tries to summon an excuse, or an apology — anything.
But now Baby is rising off the pillow, edging his head forward just enough, and whispering, “Who am I gonna tell? It’s just me, Dean. Whatever happens here doesn’t leave this room.”
His mouth might brush Dean’s skin as he pulls back and lies still, patient, smiling.
“Did you just kiss me?” Dean breathes, hardly daring to move, eyes widening. His cheek is half-buried in his pillow, and it grows uncomfortably hot as blood rushes to his face.
“It’s what people do, isn’t it? When they want something? Something in particular.”
Dean feels fingertips tracing across his bare arm, past his shoulder and down his back, fine hairs standing on end beneath the feather-light touch. There’s a warm breath on his shoulder… then his neck… he hears the tiny clack of lips parting, right by his ear.
“You know what I want, don’t you.” Dean somehow hears a smile. “Don’t you, Dean.”
“Baby-” he clenches his eyes shut, perhaps in embarrassment. Such a pathetic name, it sounds wrong from his lips now. “That’s not something I do, y’know? With…” he pulls a hand out from under his pillow and gestures to his car, sprawled almost naked beside him. Absolutely human.
“I’m not a machine, Dean. I was never just a machine. I feel, I experience. There are some things… some things I’ve seen you doing.” Baby lets out a small sigh. “I want those things for myself, Dean.”
Dean shudders. There’s an open mouth pressed to his shoulder blade, smooth lips and the tip of a wet tongue, hot air curling onto his skin. His stomach is clenched like a fist, he feels numb, can’t feel the sheets beneath him, nor the chill in the air of the room.
Everything suddenly focuses on the man trailing tiny kisses down his back. A hint of rough stubble grazes his skin, moving lower, at his lower back now. The bed sinks under Baby as he shifts closer, placing a soothing palm against Dean’s spine.
“You want this too, Dean.” The words tumble against Dean’s back, whispers over far too tender skin. “I know you want this.”
Deans body tensed. He kept telling himself that he didn’t, but every fiber of his body at that moment, wanted him. Baby slowly slid himself over dean, caressing the soft skin of Dean’s back. A shiver went up his spine, and his skin flushed underneath Baby’s hands.
“Iv had to sit and watch as you slept with woman” Baby said in almost a whisper. :I was always so jealous. They could touch you in ways I never could.” A smile spread across his face, as he leaned down closer to deans neck. “But now that I have you here with me, im not going to let it slip away.”
He then kissed the back of Deans neck. He reached his hand up and pulled back Deans shoulder. Kissing him on the nook of his neck, sucking gently. Dean flinched at that. He quickly jerked around. Baby shot up with a quizzical look on his face.
“What? Did I do it wrong?”
“No. I- you just. you cant do that…it will leave marks” His face was bright red, and he was holding the spot on his neck were he had been kissed.
Baby looked at him, letting a sly smile come across his face. He slowly ran one hand up Deans chest up to his neck, and slowly bringing his hand up to rest softly on his plump lips.
“I thought you were going to shove me off you. But that wasn’t a No.” He said with a pleased look on his face.
“What I never said-” Dead stopped. He didn’t want to tell him no. But he couldn’t say that either.
“So…” Baby brought his face so close to Dean. Dean took in a sharp breath and held it. ” Don’t worry Dean, I’ll be gentle.” He then leaned the rest of the way and kissed dean passionately. He pulled dean in and kissed him hard, not letting him pull away. While his other hand roamed Deans soft body.
Dean tried to break away. Only able to stop for a second to breathe before Baby’s lips were on his again. He then felt Baby’s tounge slip into his mouth. And dean instantly fell into ecstasy. His whole body began to tremble with pleasure.
He heard a low rumble coming from Baby. He placed his hands on Baby’s chest, it was like he was on fire. Baby let out another low growl, and it rumbled louder in his chest. Dean couldn’t hold himself back any longer.
“Wait.” Dean said breathlessly
“Whats wrong?” Baby looked up at him, his face flushed.
“You” Dean hesitated “I need to know that-” Baby’s hand rested on Deans mouth.
With a brilliant smile he said “Don’t worry Dean. Its our little secret.” He rolled his hips into Deans, and Dean let out a soft moan. He brought his lips down upon Deans again. Dean reached up and pulled him in, gripping his hair. Letting himself get lost in the kiss.
Dean pulled away without warning after a few moments, raking in a ragged breath as he fought to collect himself. There was some small part of his brain yelling that all of this was definitely a terrible idea, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember why, not with his heart pounding in his ears in the dark of the room and the warm body of his fucking car looming over him. And there it was, he’d definitely just remembered why this was a bad idea again. Fuck.
“B-Baby-“
His voice faltered, the familiar name still sounding so strange with the Chevy so obviously human and male, but he could see Baby smile in the low light, face intimately close. Dean felt a hand, gentle and almost too-warm, on the skin above his waistband and he had to actively suppress a shudder.
“It’s alright Dean I know, I’ve got you.” Baby leaned in and nipped at his owners lips playfully, clearly eager to get on with whatever it was they were doing.
Fingers slowly wedged in below the elastic, obviously giving Dean time to pull away or protest, but there was no sound besides his harsh intake of breath.
Baby took it as a good sign.
I love all of you.
That was amazing. Well done. Never would’ve thought of that. Truly awesome.
